Yesterday in class, I overheard one of my high school boys say "I will never learn anything in this class. In my old school, we learned advanced stuff...." and then the noise in the classroom picked up and his conversation was covered by other sound. After my initial shock, hurt and outrage, I had to consider the possibility of his being right. I felt that I should apologize to him that this choir is not as good as the choirs in his old school. Then I just got mad. Then I started doubting my teaching, because his point is valid. What will he learn in that class? And will I be the one to teach him?
My 8th graders are all timid. On Tuesday, one of my favorite Korean girls was able to switch back into choir - she was forced to switch out last semester to the ELL class that met at the same time. Her comment at the end of the first class back: "Everyone sings so quietly!" I tried to put a positive spin on it: "That's why I need you!", but I couldn't help but agree. They do sing quietly. They want to perform - to be seen on stage, but when they're up there, they freeze and perform poorly. And they won't shut up. They chat, chat, chat all day long. They were delightful last year as 7th graders, and then they turned into 8th graders. It happened in October.
Musical rehearsals for the middle school are torturous. Really. Peeling the skin off my face with my own fingernails would be less painful and more entertaining. And the kids think they're doing great - the best show ever!
What am I teaching them? Anything?
To my high school boy, I really want to tell him not to give up on choir - next year, there'll be a different teacher. The new teacher will have a different style and way of approaching choral music - and will probably be better for the school.
Ugh.
It really should be March. March is usually the very lowest point of the year for me. It's troubling that I seem to have hit this low in January. Will I go lower in March?
So last year, amidst all of my administration woes, I was re-evaluating my methods of instruction, and my philosophy of choral education. I still believe in the way I am approaching it. At least, I think I do. I don't know anymore.
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1 comment:
Hello Amy! You should really join facebook, then we can chat now and then. Isn't it funny how when you start teaching, you think you know everything and then the more and more you teach, the less you actually know. :) Well, I'll have to read more of your blog because I didn't see if you posted where you will be next year. If you come into Chicago, you can stay here for free as long as you want. :) Talk to you soon. We miss you!
Alicia
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